Have you ever felt lonely in a world full of people?
Ever since I was young I have always loved having someone to talk to or have wanted someone around me. I didn’t start feeling an overpowering feeling, that I ignored, until the end of elementary school. This next year meant a new school district because my family and I were moving into a bigger house. The move caused anxiety because I was thinking about my new school and making a whole new friend group. I made it through middle school with a couple of friends but I didn’t really have that support level from my peers going into high school.
Diagnosing the Feeling
When I got to high school I started actually making friends and putting myself out there, which is hard for even the most sociable. I made some really good friends that helped me through the first two years of high school but there was still that “big powerful feeling.” I felt it even when I was laughing with my friends. It was difficult to diagnose until I was finally alone. I ended up losing some of my closest friends to drugs and drama. The process of putting myself out there in high school again was too much. I was alone with my parents and a couple of friends that I didn’t feel very close to. That feeling that I thought was nothing grew so strong that I went through almost all of my Junior year with it. That’s exactly when I knew the feeling inside was so apparent.
It was loneliness. I didn’t want to admit that I was feeling lonely especially when I had so many people around me. I started to show signs of being truly unhappy and no one knew what to do to help me through. They didn’t know how to help or even what was going on. I didn’t know what to do.
I started seeing a therapist thinking she would know something that could help me realize what’s going on. Maybe she could diagnose what was making me feel this way. She had me do a couple of exercises and activities to see if that would help. However, her main piece of advice was to start talking to the people closest to me. She said that talking through what’s going on in my head, out loud with someone, brings new things to light for everyone. I talked to my parents and a couple of friends. Slowly, I was able to find a way out of that dark hole I was in. These people were helpful in guiding me toward a better understanding of what was going on and in finding out what was really making me feel lonely.
Choosing a Community
I know of a lot of people that feel like they are alone in everything. May it be school, work, social life, family, etc. You aren’t alone in feeling the way you feel because everyone goes through gray rocky areas that may need help getting out of. You just gotta put yourself in a situation where you could talk through what’s making you feel that way with people you trust.